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Ziji is the experience of being completely and powerfully in the present

Parentified daughters as life partners

“One day when my mother is healed, she will finally be able to be a mother to me” or, “One day when I am good enough, mother will be here for me.” This is the dream forged in the heart of the parentified child, that her hard work will pay off one day and her mother...

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Couple coaching and/or couple therapy

Coaches ask questions to help one or both partners in a relationship to improve something – for example, improving communication, personal growth or helping them respond to needs better.Improvement will be judged on metrics decided on by the stakeholders. Therapy is...

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Men and desire

Men and desire

The idea that men can just have sex for the sake of sex and get enough out of it is a fallacy In 2016, a study published in the Journal of Sex Research surveyed straight men in long-term heterosexual relationships about what elicited their desire, and found that key...

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Boarding school sets up intimacy disconnect

Boarding school sets up intimacy disconnect

All of the tools, none of the feelings you cannot make good decisions without emotional information, you cannot grow a flexible brain without good attachments, you cannot read facial signals if your heart is closed down, and you cannot see the big picture if your...

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Beware the BTN’s

Beware the BTN’s

AKA “better than nothings”, tease us with finite fixes for infinite yearnings. They’re the dead-end relationships, the otherwise-perfect commitmentphobes, the people who’ll never be that Into us, the Friends who can’t be more. The Coras. Yet if BTNs served no...

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You cannot reason with a verbally abusive partner

You cannot reason with a verbally abusive partner

The victim so badly wants to make sense of the behavior that he or she doesn’t put an end to it, instead continuing to search for explanations of what could have caused the abuser to treat him or her that way. The victim thinks that perhaps something about his or her...

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At peace with the virus

This first world and beautiful video aimed as soothing, still hangs out with anxiety provoking and false dichotomies in “we must win” and “we cannot fail”. Failure is the best teacher when we learn from it. The seed of success is in every failure, and loss within...

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What if I’m wrong about being right?

What would be the MEANING for you if that utterly convincing rightness of a decision, the self-evident correctness of a belief, the deep truth of a value, or an excellent position you took in a relationship - what if you were wrong? What if you just considered the...

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Stress and community care

A trauma informed consideration of community stress management Bushfires and covid19 guarantee many in our community are experiencing varying degrees of uncertainty, loss, disorientation, distress and possibly trauma. Thinking smart about this stuff can help the way...

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Calm

Calm

In a research project, participants were asked to count how many breaths they took over a two-minute period, which caused them to pay especially focused attention to their breathing. When they counted correctly, brain activity (monitored by EEG) in regions related to...

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