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Ziji is the experience of being completely and powerfully in the present

At peace with the virus

This first world and beautiful video aimed as soothing, still hangs out with anxiety provoking and false dichotomies in “we must win” and “we cannot fail”. Failure is the best teacher when we learn from it. The seed of success is in every failure, and loss within...

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What if I’m wrong about being right?

What would be the MEANING for you if that utterly convincing rightness of a decision, the self-evident correctness of a belief, the deep truth of a value, or an excellent position you took in a relationship - what if you were wrong? What if you just considered the...

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Stress and community care

A trauma informed consideration of community stress management Bushfires and covid19 guarantee many in our community are experiencing varying degrees of uncertainty, loss, disorientation, distress and possibly trauma. Thinking smart about this stuff can help the way...

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Calm

Calm

In a research project, participants were asked to count how many breaths they took over a two-minute period, which caused them to pay especially focused attention to their breathing. When they counted correctly, brain activity (monitored by EEG) in regions related to...

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Who’s running your life

Who’s running your life

Does the flight, fight, freeze part of your nervous system run your life? Go from zero to 100 in a second? When your reactivity is strong life is running you. It’s a wild ride but is it what you want? Mindful of the triggers for emotional reactivity at home and work...

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Just to be really here

Bill Murray https://youtu.be/o9TvFkiLLMo The more you know who you are the less things affect you. What could I do with my life if I were really here. I know a guy who’s been dead as long as he’s been alive.

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What personality

What personality

I think we are a multitude and our task is to befriend each aspect of ourselves. What happens if we don’t fit in the box of one personality type like extrovert, introvert, omnivert? Many dating apps, relationship self-help books and personality diagnostic webpages...

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Havening for covid19 isolation and trauma

This simple process can be shared over zoom or with social distancing just by doing it together on screen, opposite each other in the park or at home or just on your own. Kids get it immediately, adults may just need to be mindful of their breath. Wash your hands...

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We might be giants

We might be giants

'I always had a repulsive sort of need to be something more than human. I felt very very puny as a human. I thought, "Fuck that. I want to be a superman." - David #Bowie Knowing you have so much potential and yet realising in your heart of hearts that it’s not...

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Why relationships

Why relationships

Contrary to everything I have written on my couple therapy site, or maybe aligned with it’s darker notes, I don’t recommend marriage. Well not without first deep diving into how you are, and will become a difficult person to live with. Long term committed...

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Shame

Shame

Shame based - after 50 years in the business I have come to the conclusion that almost any system of personal growth, which prescribes a formula for personal development can carry a sub-text of shame. For example, follow our rules and life will work out for you. Don’t...

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Story and experience

Story and experience

One way of thinking about the difference between the story we tell ourselves about an experience, and the experience itself is to consider how the brain manages information.

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