All of the tools, none of the feelings
you cannot make good decisions without emotional information, you cannot grow a flexible brain without good attachments, you cannot read facial signals if your heart is closed down, and you cannot see the big picture if your brain has been fed on a strict diet of rationality.“Disconnection From Self
Being connected to yourself means that you are able to interpret the felt sensations in your body as feelings. Feelings help you respond to others and evaluate what is going on around you. They help you determine what you need moment to moment.Disconnection from your self occurs when you numb or constrict your bodily sensations. This lack of connection from your body prevents you experiencing an instinctual sense of what need. Disconnection is a learnt primitive defense to a perceived threat. When we are disconnected from our body we tend to rely on thinking to feel safe.
Boarding school subtly encourages over use of the intellect and suppression of feeling. It can be hard to see this as our society encourages conformity over being true to oneself. In boarding school you need to fit in, follow the rules and conditioned to accept the norms of suppressing “unwanted” parts of yourself to become successful. Some may believe that boarding school is a good training for life. It’s a powerful illusion. It’s not that the messages in themselves aren’t bad, ‘There is nothing wrong with wanting to be successful’. The subtly is in seeing what we are unconsciously encouraged to suppress in ourselves along the way. The price of conformity in boarding school is to disconnect from what we feel.“
quoted from https://www.relatenow.co.uk/content/relationship-counselling-boarding-school-survivors/