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Ziji is the experience of being completely and powerfully in the present
Calm

Calm

In a research project, participants were asked to count how many breaths they took over a two-minute period, which caused them to pay especially focused attention to their breathing. When they counted correctly, brain activity (monitored by EEG) in regions related to...

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What personality

What personality

I think we are a multitude and our task is to befriend each aspect of ourselves. What happens if we don’t fit in the box of one personality type like extrovert, introvert, omnivert? Many dating apps, relationship self-help books and personality diagnostic webpages...

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Havening for covid19 isolation and trauma

This simple process can be shared over zoom or with social distancing just by doing it together on screen, opposite each other in the park or at home or just on your own. Kids get it immediately, adults may just need to be mindful of their breath. Wash your hands...

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We might be giants

We might be giants

'I always had a repulsive sort of need to be something more than human. I felt very very puny as a human. I thought, "Fuck that. I want to be a superman." - David #Bowie Knowing you have so much potential and yet realising in your heart of hearts that it’s not...

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Why relationships

Why relationships

Contrary to everything I have written on my couple therapy site, or maybe aligned with it’s darker notes, I don’t recommend marriage. Well not without first deep diving into how you are, and will become a difficult person to live with. Long term committed...

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Shame

Shame

Shame based - after 50 years in the business I have come to the conclusion that almost any system of personal growth, which prescribes a formula for personal development can carry a sub-text of shame. For example, follow our rules and life will work out for you. Don’t...

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Story and experience

Story and experience

One way of thinking about the difference between the story we tell ourselves about an experience, and the experience itself is to consider how the brain manages information.

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Self Care

Self Care

As long as you are a free standing adult, even if compromised by disability or chronic ill health, you cannot outsource care of your soul or the core of your self to anyone else

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