I became frustrated with the lack of useful information for couples where both lovers have a trauma history. Too few relationship counsellors have the background in lived experience of trauma, and in trauma therapies to identify the pattern in the first joint session. Shame, numbing and minimisation can camouflage the truth of what lives on in their relationship, for example, ‘it didn’t happen to me or if it did it didn’t impact my life.’ Buried painful experiences don’t die quiet deaths, they tend to live on as relational land mines. I began this site for these couples and their counsellors. I hope you find it helpful wherever you are in our journeys of healing.

Dovetailing positive emotions

Self-compassion in a storm

Transforming trauma triggered disconnects